I had a weird dream Saturday night. Ok, it was awesome.

These two guys were living next door to us. The house I was in started off as my cousin Shauna's house, and then changed to being our house (but not the way it is in real life. That weird dream distortion.). The people who lived or came over/visted the house were 3 friends, my brother, and my mother (also I was always there). There was never more than 3 people at a time, either.

Anyway, the 2 guys. Adrian had this awesome black hair. I guess it was a bob cut? It didn't go past his chin. I remember he was a white guy, but I keep thinking he was British even though he didn't have an accent.
The other guy was Ben, whose look was probably based off of Seth Rogan in Knocked Up, only he had less hair on top of his head, had a small curly beard and mustache, and didn't have Seth Rogan's features. He was also a little thinner than Seth Rogan.

ANYWHO, these two assholes had these clipboard with pads of paper where whatever they wrote would happen in real life. They were all cryptic and mysterious whenever we passed them on our way to the house, and it was annoying. They decided for reasons unknown to plague our house with these thugs who would stay for a set amount of time (the same times every day) and boss/bully us around. After about two or three days of this, Hazel said I had to go over and talk to them. When I asked why, she said, "Because we saw you staring at him (him being Adrian.)."
Me: SHIT.

Earlier in the dream the two guys had said that crossing their doormat would result in -cryptic bullshit implying something bad-. But neither of them were outside, so I knocked on the screendoor. No answer, and the inner door was open. I opened the screendoor and stepped across the doormat, looking around for one of them.

Me: "Hello?"

No one answered, so I walked in. When I was about halfway across the living room I heard this angry noise behind me. I spun around to see this pissed off Adrian storming toward me. I backpedaled without looking where I was going, babbling explanations before falling into a chair. Adrian marched right up and started throttling me. See? ASS. HOLE.

Anyway, somehow I got out of there (Ben said something like, "Maybe now you'll listen to our warning" as I ran out. He was on their front lawn. FUCK YOU WHERE WERE YOU 2 MINUTES AGO) and back to our house, where I blacked out for a bit and then woke up with a black eye. I was told by my mom that I had to go back to the neighbors' house and ask them to please stop sending the thugs over. FFFFFUUUUU-

So I went back out, and Adrian was watering the lawn with his back to me. I looked around for Ben or a witness in case he decided to choke me again, but no one was around. I cleared my throat. He looked over his shoulder, saw it was me, and kept watering. Then he did a double take and dropped the hose.

Adrian*storming over and getting up in my face*: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE

Me *on the verge of screaming in terror at this point and covering my throat with my hands*: YOU PROBABLY HIT ME IN THE FACE OR SOMETHING YOU PSYCHOPATH

Adrian: I DID NO SUCH THING NOW TELL ME WHERE THAT BLACK EYE CAME FROM

Me: You STRANGLED me you ASSHOLE you probably smacked me at some point or one of those stupid THUGS you keep SENDING did I don't even-

Adrian *stupid face*

Me: I'll take an apology any time now. Also my mom and everyone I know wants you to stop sending thugs to come over to our house, it's irritating. There's no reason for you to bother us. There's at least 24 other houses.

Adrian: ...

Me: Just stop writing that thugs come and bother us every afternoon.

And they did stop. I don't really remember what happened after that, although at one point:

Me *walking back to house after going into town for groceries*

Adrian *comes out of his house and stands on his front porch with his hands on his hips*: HEY YOU

Me: He could be talking to anyone.

Adrian *comes up right behind me*: I said HEY YOU

Me: damnit

And then Izzy was missing and I thought the neighbors took her so I went over and discovered that the lower floors of the house were dark and shadowy and huge. I was kind of scared, until:

Me: Um...

Red Sniper *is sitting hatless in a chair*: yo

Me: What are you doing in Adrian's house?

Red Sniper: wot

Me: Ok, whatever, I need to find Izzy-

Red Sniper *stands up and clamps a hand on my shoulder*: WAIT

Me: Dude seriously you are using up all of my dream ti-

Red Sniper *holding out bottle of his piss to me*: Take this.

Me: THAT IS A JAR OF YOUR OWN PEE

Red Sniper: TAKE IT

Me: NO

Adrien *on the other side of a locked door that leads to a treasure room*: WTF

Then at some point Ben showed up and was hella shady when I asked if Izy was here. He left, and then Sniper spoke up.

Red Sniper: That Ben izza dodgy cunt.

Me: I concur, Sniper.

And after that Sniper said that going topless would help with stealth and so I went along with it and then realized it didn't help at all and he just shrugged and walked away as Adrian appeared behind me.

Me: This was Sniper's idea.

Adrian: Good man.

I remember there was a fight (aka me running away and locking Adrian in the treasure room again), and I came across Izzy tied to a chair. Ben tried to stop me so I threw the bottle of piss at him and he held up his clipboard to block it. The liquid hit the paper that the words he had written were on and started to make them run. The basement started to get even more wavy and distorted, and pieces of an unseen ceiling fell from far above. Sniper appeared again at this point and got Izzy out of there while I threw stuff at Ben and then ran up the stairs.

Then Adrian on the stairs being an asshole again, there was this weird elevator I had to take to get to the upper level where it would be safe. I'm not sure how I can describe what it looked like. I know it moved up on these thin copper/bronze poles. Somehow I wound up on top of the elevator and had to jump down to the top floor. Ran out the front door.

AWW YEAH